Schizoaffective Disorder and Intimacy: A Star-Crossed Engagement
I thought we were choosing rings. Instead, I was told I was “unsuitable to be a wife.”
This is a true story about schizoaffective disorder and cheating—not in the way you think, but in the quiet betrayal of stigma, silence, and broken promises. My husband and I were in love, planning marriage, even choosing an alexandrite engagement ring. But behind the scenes, his mother—armed with a list of my psychiatric medications—was consulting professionals and church elders.
Their verdict? People like me—people with schizoaffective disorder—shouldn’t marry.
I’ve lived with this diagnosis since I was twelve. I also live with chronic illness, pain, and invisible disability. But nothing prepared me for how difficult it would be to merge schizoaffective disorder and romantic relationships. I’d battled hallucinations and despair—but this? This was betrayal dressed as concern.
And yet, I still said yes when he proposed.
Love is complex. Mental illness is not a flaw in someone’s capacity to feel, give, or receive love—it’s a different way of existing in the world. But society would rather see us as tragic, dangerous, or incapable of intimacy.
This story isn’t just mine. It’s a call to challenge the stigma that says people with schizophrenia spectrum disorders don’t deserve meaningful relationships. We do.
And if you’ve ever been made to feel otherwise, you’re not alone.
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